Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
