Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
