My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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