i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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