Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
