We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
