If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
