If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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