I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
