do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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