Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
