i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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