Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Im part way to drunk.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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