using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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