I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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