I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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