glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
