we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
