I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
