i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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