she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
