I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He shit in the fireplace
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
