I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
