Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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