I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
