Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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He managed to light the Jello on fire...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
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There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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