If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
