"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
