I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
