You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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