If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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