please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
do herpes really smell.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
