Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
