Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
