my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
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I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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