Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
