so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize