Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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