So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
