He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
