Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Still dying that you shit outside
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
