i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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