I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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