i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
