I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
