i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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