is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
