Umm I'm too high to move.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
