Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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