I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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