new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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