So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
