Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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