Can Purell be used as lube?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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