i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
