she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
