I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
