she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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