My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's rum buckets o'clock
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
