We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
