what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
