ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Shame - the story of my life.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
