You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
