I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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