What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
