That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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