is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
